I am writing this in
english.
Obviously.
I'm far too good at
stating the obvious.. but oh well …
I have been thinking a lot
about how we grow and mature as humans. As persons and individuals.
What it means to become an adult, to be mature and to find ourselvs
and all that wich people talk about. You start off as a child. You
grow, physically and mentally, and you evolve, you mature and you
keep growing. But why is it that so many people, the majority it
seems, think of ”mature” and ”adult” in a way that indicates
boring and strict?
Why are we expected to
become less playful? Why is specific styles in clothing and
personality deemed ”wrong” for an adult? I never got this, but I
have spent way too much time in my life trying to adhere to unwritten
rules that I never saw a reason for.
Finding my true self, and
it wasn't so much finding as rediscovering, has been, and still is, a
wonderful thing. I am in no way done yet either. I still find out
more of who I am in different aspects. And I am learning to be who I
am. Completely. Inside and out. This does not mean I will run around
naked in the streets just because I found out I like to be naked
outside in the summer. I do that on my own turf, and does not subject
other too it, for their sake. But I do it. And I do so much more.
I find clothes I like.
Really, really like. Not as in, ”I guess this is ok, and people
will not react” but ”I fucking love this thing with ALL THE
COLOURS, and I will wear it wherever I want!!” I will wear my cap,
or a hat or a bonnet or a scarf, I will wear pink plush pants
everywhere I go, or a skirt that people think I am crazy for wearing
to the store. I will have all the haircolours I want. I will dance,
not like nobody is looking, because I DON´T CARE, but like I feel
like. I will dance as much or as little as my body can handle. I will
sing, I will play, I will slaugter monsters in videogames, I will
read, I will draw, paint, sculpt, I will do woodcarving and I will
ride around in our old hippiebus with my wonderful, awesome man who
is himself just like I am myself.
And we are both childish
and mature. Adults and silly. We are ourselfs as much as we can.
It took so much time to
get here ….
But I will never ever
leave!
