The nature of life and time

I was born in a time of too late

when the movement of mind was already on roll

and I never felt quite at home

but life is indeed 

to short

too short to regret 

too short to nag

move on

see ahead

and I move on and I see ahead

and I try not to grieve

things of unalterable nature

I was born in a time of too late

but I live today

and the value of life and love

does not get hindered by borders

of space

or time

Sometimes it's easy to feel small in the world, to feel helpless, out of time, like you don't fit. I have almost never felt like I fit. It has, since early childhood been a sensation of something, just without reach, something I should be, or have, or experience. But even though this feeling remains, not all the time, but it still lingers, just in the corner of my eye, just almost below the sound level. I am happy today, for the most. I can handle myself, for the most. But when I fall through, this out-of-reach feeling is there to nag me and taunt me. Driving me mad and enhancing whatever reason that made me fall through. You might see me as ignorant, indifferent, or even rude. That is not me, it's just this feeling of not belonging. I never belong, I just hope to, try to, and wish to. And this makes me feel like nobody is interested in my views, my thoughts and my opinion. So what do I do? I live. I love. I do my best to be happy. I do my best to be happy for myself and those close to me. Because in the end, I won't be one of those people that leaves a mark in this world. I didn't get on the boat in time, and I will never reach it's destination. I paddle around in the sea, forever searching and I when I die I will slowly sink to the bottom, anonymously. And there is nothing to do about that, so I choose not to try. I want my life now, as it is, to be as good as it can be. 

It's just those times.. when I almost see ... almost hear.. and I have this feeling that there was a boat I should have been on.

Do I nag? Yes I do.