torsdag 29 mars 2012

Making the upward spiral

This morning started with a big nose bleed. Not uncommon for me lately. I get up, get to the kitchen, and start dripping on the floor, or I get up, head for the toilet, and start dripping on the floor. Tody it was much more than usual, the bathroom floor looked like someone had been murdered there.

But this was not the droid I was looking for, I mean, that was not what I was going to write about today. Up until a few weeks ago, I have been slowly improving when it comes to stress and health over all. But now, that seem to have changed. I don't know why, but I feel worse, sicker, more tired and I am getting depressed again. Very depressed. I don't know what to do really. My situation feels so chaotic, I don't know what will happen in the future, I have no energy and I can't handle the kids. It feels like everything is building up on me. I got a big tax payment I have to make. Didn't count on that one. Also, I have to get summer tires for my car. I have to, every day, every day, be strong for my kids, work with my kids, teach my kids about reallity and never ever stop trying to undo the fact that I let their father rule in how to raise them most of their life.
This is not a happy blog post. But it doesn't matter, since nobody reads this blog anyway.

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My life in photos My old photoblog.

Living with the monkeyboys My old blog about the kids and their problems.

Explaining mental abuse My blog about mental abuse. I started it as a help for myself to work with all the remaining issues of my experience of this.

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